What is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse or sexual molestation is any kind of sexual act directed toward a child by an adult or much older child. Such acts include sexual fondling, digital penetration/intercourse, oral sex, or sex, exhibitionism, prostitution and using children for the production of pornography.
What are some of the physical and behavioral signs?
Children who may be too frightened to talk about sexual molestation may exhibit a variety of physical and behavioral signals. Any or several of these signs may be significant. Parents should assume responsibility for noticing such symptoms including:
Extreme changes in behavior such as loss of appetite.
Recurrent nightmares or disturbed sleep patterns and fear of the dark.
Regression to more infantile behavior such as bedwetting, thumb sucking or excessive crying.
Torn or stained underclothing.
Vaginal or rectal bleeding, pain, itching, swollen genitals and vaginal discharge.
Unusual interest in or knowledge of sexual matters, expressing affection in ways inappropriate for their age.
Fear of a person or an intense dislike of being left somewhere or with someone.
Other behavioral signals include aggressive or disruptive behavior, withdrawal, running away or delinquent behavior, or change in performance at school.
What if I think my child has been abused?
Believe your child. Children rarely lie about sexual abuse.
Commend your child for telling you about the experience. However you do not need to ask your child for detailed information about the experience. Listen to what your child wants to tell you. Respond to what your child is feeling.
Convey your support for your child. A child’s greatest fear is that he or she is at fault and responsible for the incident. Alleviating this self-blame is of paramount importance. Tell your child that he or she is right to tell you.
Report any suspected molestation to the Department of Social Services or to the police. (See Local Resources for phone numbers.)
Remember that taking action is critical because if nothing is done, other children will continue to be at risk. Child sexual is a community interest and concern.
Make sure that your child knows that if someone does something confusing to them, like touching, taking a naked picture or giving them gifts, you want to be told about it. Reassure your child and explain that he or she will not be blamed for whatever an adult does with them.
What should I not do?
Don’t deny the problem. Trying to forget the abuse happened doesn’t protect your child or you from having to deal with the feelings about the sexual abuse. Instead, it interferes with the care and protection for your child. Don’t lose control of your feelings. Stay calm with your child and never blame, punish or embarrass your child. Support your child, no matter how hard it is to believe.
What are common reactions of parents of sexually abused children?
Shock, disbelief, rage, desire to get even, guilt, embarrassment, self-blame, depression and sense of betrayal are just a few of the common reaction of parents. It may be a parent’s worst nightmare come true when a child says he or she has been sexually abused. Initially, you may feel overwhelmed by your own shock, fear and anger. If the abuser is a close family member, you may also be struggling with disbelief and a sense of having been betrayed.
Lots of parents ask themselves what they can do for their children. Try to comfort your child as you normally do when he or she gets hurt in other ways. Offer him or her security that you will keep the abuser away from him/her. Let your child hear that you are sorry he or she was abused and that you will help him/her feel better.
